To All My Pregnant Gamers

So, I want to just preface this by saying, yes, I know that it is pathetic that I am a grown man with a subscription to a video game magazine that is primarily for nine-year olds, but with my last issue of "Nintendo Power" came with a missive telling me of new management ("Future INC."). Now, I'm not sure why any kid would give a ka-ka poo about this, but there was one very interesting sentence:

"If you don't know Future by name, then you certainly know our company by its other industry-leading magazines which include PC Gamer, Official Xbox Magazine, Playstation: The Official Magazine, and Pregnancy."

...
...er
...um...

...Pregnancy? Ah yeah, I remember the last time I sat down to look up Halo cheats while checking indications of cervical dilation and contraction rates... Just who the fuck is their target audience? Are nine year olds having babies? Gearing up to impregnate their teachers? Or maybe pregnant mothers are just addicted to WOW? And not only that, but this last magazine is mentioned without any sort of explanation of its discordant inclusion. That's like a chef saying "I just had a fabulous day cooking crème brule, tarts, savory Danishes, and I took my dog outside for a crap."

What?

What?

God damn you Nintendo! Stop fucking with my mind.

I guess at least now I know that I can be a good Samaritan though and give my old issues of Nintendo Power to the Planned Parenthood down the street.

Nice.

Save the babies and kill the Metroids.

-Crash Write